Time Machine: Surrounded by cavemen!

Thirty year gap between the sweet and the bald one!

Thirty year gap between the sweet and the bald one!

 Time matters, and a lot. Imagine if you could travel back in time and get in touch with those things that were long ago. I just had a sense of this recently when I came into the house I was raised up. My parents are no longer there permanently, but they still keep it the same way it was back in my childhood, and I could compare what time has done to me by looking at my early childhood picture some thirty something years later.

If I am to fly back in time, there’s a moment in which I would not hesitate to go, let’s be a caveman!


 Haven’ t you ever asked yourself “why the heck did I came into this”? The guys at the Time Travel Agency promised I could not get injured or harmed at all, as that would cause a time paradox and space would collapse within itself, but that was just a theory!

 There I was at the late Pleistocene in order to fulfil one of my dearest dreams, get to know real cavemen, and there I was, surrounded by a Neanderthal group pointing spares at me! I was totally the odd one, as I was wearing a stupid leopard skin skirt like that had nothing to do with their sophisticated leather pants. They all wore garments on their heads, mostly made of bones, and their voices were really impressive.


The Cave Boy of the Age of Stone

The Cave Boy of the Age of Stone (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 I once read the Neanderthal had a different tone, an entire scale lower than Sapiens. As if Barry White would be an opera tenor for them. And I also remembered the estimate was that they were twice or thrice as strong as an adult man… and they were still pointing their spares at me!

 The eldest spoke, nearly grunting, and the others retreated. I think my expression was that of someone nearly wetting pants rather than a menace. I was right after grabbed by one arm, and taken with them.

They walked real fast for such a short legs, and as I couldn’t keep up the pace, the pushed me forward every now and then, and held me when I was to fall. The forest was beautiful, and I unfortunately could not halt and admire it.

We soon got to a settlement. No caves, but leather tepees for one or two maximum I first thought, but time proved I was dead wrong. Totally out of breath when I first arrived, I didn’t even notice how they were all staring at me until they tore my leather and strip me off.. cannibals? enemies? rapists? who would know?


English: First reconstruction of Neanderthal m...

It was quite cold, and thanks to the cracking bonfire that I didn’t start shaking, but as I was sweating I feared a pneumonia just as a starter. I wanted to see cavemen in first person and I had not even thought about being their slave! I was to stay a whole month with them, and a month in slavery was not a funny thing to think of.

While they were still staring at me with inquisitive eyes, they were also speaking, and that was a great thing to listen. What first seemed to me as grunting was actually a rich language full of little connotations. It was a fast language that didn’t seem to leave much for misunderstanding really, or so it seemed to me.

 They carefully perused my leopard leather, passing it from hand to hand without any minor problem regarding the order. It was fascinating. Their children soon approached me and some of them timidly decided to touch me to go back again with a sweet smile. I guessed they were just curious, but not harmful, so I relaxed.


Deutsch: Rekonstruierter Neandertaler im Neand...

I was given new clothes, as their fashion, and they all came closer to touch me. I then noticed I was much taller than the tallest of them, and that really impressed them. Some went on stones near me to see if they could see from my perspective, and women scented my hand by rubbing them with flower petals.

Some food went on stage, they roasted a huge piece of meat which I do not know from what beast it might have been, but it was delicious. It is much better to eat with no manners at all, nearly naked surrounded by a bunch of people who suddenly started to look at me as if I were a god. Situations change a lot in the prehistory!

The brought me water in leather bags, and they washed my hands, feet and face. Then, the children started dancing while men produced a rhythm by clapping their hand and beating their knees alternatively. After a couple of minutes, one of the women appeared singing. Her voice was similar to that of a man for us, and it sounded a bit weird, but she really knew how to sing! Others followed this one, making chants or sweet melodies. Music was rather monotonous I would say, which really didn’t matter at all, as I was lucky enough to get one of the very first concerts in history!

When the party ended, I was taken to one of the tepees, one just for me. But I did notice how the others were filled with up to six of seven people. I know they were shorter than I am, but they were quite stout so I could not imagine how they could fit in. It was during the night that the flames grew thinner that I wouldn’t have minded a bit of company for some warmth.

Right before dawn I was awaken again, and driven out of the tepee. Then, women fully adorned me with flowers everywhere, bone necklaces and a deer skull with amazing antlers. I was happy to be their god, and I smiled widely. The shaman, for that’s what I think he was, was a young fellow who seemed very diligent while praying and spelling around myself. It caught my attention the fact that he was affected by the Down syndrome, which didn’t really matter at all for them as he was an important individual.

It was all cheerful and laughter when we got to a great cliff. The view was amazing, and I was driven to the very edge of it… and then I thought I might have been too silly to think they really loved me that much… are they going to… throw me?!

Sorrounded so I could not scape unless flying, they continued spelling their magic words or whatever, and the shaman all of a sudden entered in a trance state that made him move violently while throwing up saliva and showing completely white eyes, and he pushed me, just a bit, but enought to reach the point of no return.

I could still feel the the ground touching my feet and I felt connected to the security of the rock, while I perfectly knew I was not going to be able to stand there any longer. Gravity did the rest, and I soon found myself falling down into the void.

Scientists proved that you cannot be harmed while visiting the past as that could create a paradox that would bend the space-time and would cause this dimension of the univese to collapse, which is a concept we all learnt with the Back to the Future movies, but they proved it just because of me.

If only I could have seen their Neanderthal faces when I suddenly dissapeared and I didn’t hit the ground…

Cover of "Back to the Future"

Cover of Back to the Future






Enhanced by Zemanta


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s